Graduation and Confirmation

Do you ever second guess yourself?  Oh it's just me that does that!  Okay.  Well after the surgery I was doing some second guessing.  I lost weight on the thousand calorie pre-op diet. I thought to myself, my body actually can lose weight!  Woo Hoo!  So why am I having surgery?  I can do this myself right?

Well....  To be honest, that ship had already sailed.  I already had surgery.  There is no going back to find out if I could have done it or not.  But God graciously gave me some confirmations to reassure my heart.

Last Sunday, (at 9 days post-op) I decided to go to church with my family.  I didn't think I was cray at the moment, but perhaps I was.  My husband dropped me off at the door and my 8 y.o. got out of the car with me to carry my bag across the lobby.  By the time I got to where we check the kids into children's ministry my pain was so high I could barely speak.  I sat down for worship and then ended up moving to the lobby half way through the message because there was just no getting comfortable.  I also needed to eat, so I went out to eat the yogurt I packed with me.  The message was so helpful.  It reminded me of God's Sovereignty.  God is sovereign even over the decisions I made the week before. It was the comfort my heart needed.  Here is a link to the message if you're interested: Sovereign Over All.

Today, I had a second confirmation. At my post op appointment I learned that I was losing weight well.  I was also progressing well.  I could even graduate from liquids to purees!  That is super exciting because my diet has consisted of only: sugar-free yogurt, sugar-free pudding, broth (with added protein powder), strained cream based soups (reduced fat), and protein shakes.  Tonight - I had fluffy scrambled eggs.  Okay - it was only one egg and I couldn't eat the whole thing, but still, it was something new and being able to eat new things and progress is super exciting.

The confirmation came though when I was told that my liver biopsy showed cirrhosis and fibrosis.  The doctor showed me my progress and said, "this is what we want to see.  We want to see this kind of weight loss. You're doing great.  You don't feel your liver and people can get sicker and sicker and never know." Now because of the surgery, I know.  I have some blood work to do to find out if I have any autoimmune disease contributing to the Liver issues, but for now I'm doing the best thing I can for my liver: losing lots of weight.

I am down 24 lbs since November, 14 of the those pounds have been in these last 13 days since the surgery.  I am doing the best I can to rest, recover, and take care of myself.  I have been struggling with my health for many years.  I've tried many things to lose weight and stay healthy, but I never really had success.

I'm grateful for these confirmations and for the graduation to purees.  I pray that I would become healthy and have more energy to be the person God is calling me to be.